Saturday, June 26, 2010
:: its hard when 2 people speak 2 different thing ::
its been a very hard week for me! very stressed out! much in tears, even sleep in tears too. it is hard for me when im different from others. when im speak different language, and when im not the choosen 1.. it is hard and tearing me when i need to sacrifice more and more but it seems not worth off for u.. ive been throu all this for 6 years and i feels like im not strong enuff to hold on this anymore.. i didnt ask much.. not even talk much.. didnt mean when im quite than im fine wif what u did.. yea words of bitch was really broke me down! and its hurt even more when u only listen to ur mom! man u r 30 years.. and yet u still much under ur sist and mom! do ever u ask me y did i spend more time myself, on my own world? do u want to listen to me? when it is about ur mom, about ur sist? did u ever try to c ur mom from view of mine? always trying to tell others that yea she good, my daughter is good, my bla blaa is good.. my bla and bla and bla... when she much pretending she care.. that she is the only one who noe how to do things right even way of doing instant pancake! if she noe she cant do certain things y dont she asked me to do that?.. y must she die hard to tell people especially u, that im not good.. sometime i feels like she just want to show off~~.. which is the best of her that i noe for this past 6 years.. yea i didnt said much.. really when it come to ur family matters cuz i noe who i am.. but in a second do u ever think who i am to u too? do u feels like im fine when ur sister telling me there is another girl waiting for u back at ur hometown! and when im crying like mad for that and u just quite.. silent.. dont u noe how much i loved u? when u put me aside just becouse of ur family did u ever think how hell im going throu it? most all do u ever try to give a comitment in our relation? hummmmmm.. do u care??