Saturday, June 26, 2010
its been a very hard week for me! very stressed out! much in tears, even sleep in tears too. it is hard for me when im different from others. when im speak different language, and when im not the choosen 1.. it is hard and tearing me when i need to sacrifice more and more but it seems not worth off for u.. ive been throu all this for 6 years and i feels like im not strong enuff to hold on this anymore.. i didnt ask much.. not even talk much.. didnt mean when im quite than im fine wif what u did.. yea words of bitch was really broke me down! and its hurt even more when u only listen to ur mom! man u r 30 years.. and yet u still much under ur sist and mom! do ever u ask me y did i spend more time myself, on my own world? do u want to listen to me? when it is about ur mom, about ur sist? did u ever try to c ur mom from view of mine? always trying to tell others that yea she good, my daughter is good, my bla blaa is good.. my bla and bla and bla... when she much pretending she care.. that she is the only one who noe how to do things right even way of doing instant pancake! if she noe she cant do certain things y dont she asked me to do that?.. y must she die hard to tell people especially u, that im not good.. sometime i feels like she just want to show off~~.. which is the best of her that i noe for this past 6 years.. yea i didnt said much.. really when it come to ur family matters cuz i noe who i am.. but in a second do u ever think who i am to u too? do u feels like im fine when ur sister telling me there is another girl waiting for u back at ur hometown! and when im crying like mad for that and u just quite.. silent.. dont u noe how much i loved u? when u put me aside just becouse of ur family did u ever think how hell im going throu it? most all do u ever try to give a comitment in our relation? hummmmmm.. do u care??
its saturday! it is weekend babe! cleaning my room! hoohhh from 11am to 5pm! hoooh must said theres a lot of dust -_-" .. change position of almari baju.. huh heavy.. me rasa me need more huge almari laaa! darl i need huge almari! then change here change there.. then.... OMG i do have pile of books on table and floor.. my book shelving already full! darl..... i need books shelving too!! yeaa im crazy about books and mag.. keep promise to myself no more mingguan wanita, no more doremon.. but i cant.. I CANT!!.. but books ilmu is worth of spend.. if dah habis baca u can pass to sister ke friends ke.. and u can even give it charity.. hummm.. so me put aside all the mag and thinking mayb to donate it.. sayang kan nk buang all this.. in fact i still have 2 huge boxes of books and comics in storeroom..
i dunt noe when did i get this ujang...
this is so addicted.. and just want to keypoh my baby eayore.. and anak ku baby bath..
another stack of mingguan wanita.. and few pooh too.. weeeeee
im reading this hati kita now, thts y it is on floor -_-"
darl, i need another books shelving!!
humm... now get a shower and heading out for groceries market and do some weekly stock shopping.. and tom is SUNDAY babe!!! happy weekend.. (trying to fix my bad mood this sunday.. :).. )